"Mastering Self Leadership"

An address by Magnus Rex Danquah, delivered at the Nouveau Face Haus, a human empowerment & capacity building organisation event on “Living A Purposeful Life In The University 2009” held at the Central Cafeteria, University of Ghana, Legon on Saturday, 12th September, 2009 to over 1,000 first-year Students.


Introduction & Definitions

• I would not want to make this another academic lecture because you will have more than your fill of them during your stay here on campus.

• What I will try to do is to tell you about life, part of my own life and then use both to paint and draw a certain yardstick that you can adopt to make some sense out of your own life.

• First, permit me to thank Nouveau Face Haus (NFH) for the opportunity to be part of today’s function to share a bit of myself with you. I hope at the end of my presentation, it would have been worth not only my while but yours, too.

• In all of my public life, spanning over 30 years, this should be the second speaking engagement I am honouring, the first at the 25th anniversary of Unity Hall, KNUST. This should tell you the kind of person I am – a very, very private person.

• The theme for this year’s NFH human empowerment and capacity building event is: “Living A Purposeful Life In The University 2009”, and it is within this context that I want to place my topic: ‘MASTERING SELF LEADERSHIP’.

• Allow me to state the obvious that, what all life is about is how to manage a transition, in living here on earth, in business, in relationships, and in education. We are all in transit, whatever our calling, or what the religious pastors term ‘MINISTRY’. The three or four years you will spend here is only a transition, and the University of Ghana, the course you are pursuing, your hall of residence are all only transit points for you to pass through to yet another transit point in life.

• What is worse, you are on your own here, no parents to nag and attempt to influence your life, your church leaders, lecturers, tutors, friends and even enemies can only advise and or criticize but the ultimate responsibility lies with you. What the Americans say, the buck stops with you.

• You make your own success or failure; you chart your own course for your future, based on the foundations that you will lay at this critical moment of your life, university education. Opportunities in life are limitless, but you and only you hold the key to how you unlock the secrets of life to make a success of it.

• What is worse still is that you are only in competition with yourself and not with anybody, because your failure does not add to another’s success nor does your success take from another to compound his / her failure.

• You and only you hold the ultimate key to your success, depending on how you manage this transition of your life: university education.

• And this is why I find my topic most relevant.

• Please, don’t let me deceive you into thinking I am a success, far from that, because life is also one continuous learning process and we only stop learning when we stop living and die. It is for this reason that the choices we make at every point of our lives in transit are most important.

• A bit about myself now. I am a proud student of Mfantsipim School and a product of KNUST with a degree in Land Economy, but a practicing PR, Event Management & Sports Marketing Consultant – all in areas that I have not had any formal education in.

• For the past thirty years, I have virtually singlehandedly shaped the legal framework for turning sports business into an emerging industries in the country.

• For the records, CAN 2008 was my personal brainchild / project, having worked on it since 2002.

• Within this period also I have assisted in shaping the music and arts industry when I ran an entertainment newspaper called ‘Leisure’, instituted and organised the annual Leisure Arts & Music Awards in the 1980s to culminate in hosting the 1st Pan-African Fair for Arts & Music in 1990, with Jermaine Jackson, brother of the late Michael Jackson as a guest to represent the Jackson Family and receive an award on their behalf.

• What everybody witnessed as the best ever continental football fiesta last year, CAN 2008 had occupied my life for the past decade, starting with the Ghana ‘99 Africa Youth Football Championship hosted by Ghana, and which gave the nation the unique opportunity to co-host CAN 2000 tournament with Nigeria the following year.

• I believe, unknowingly, I have managed my transition from Mfantsipim School through the KNUST to life reasonably well to come this far, in a way by evolving some leadership principles that continuously focused me on the goals or destiny of life that I find myself today, including the opportunity to share this with you.

• Whilst at Mfantsipim, even though I was never a sportsman but I put my interest into being the Team Manager for my class and won major school football championships with my class; ran the class newspaper with sheets from my hardcover notebooks, and as fate will have it these are the same pursuits I have turned into serious business for myself – call it dreams - and not even the Land Economy I pursued at KNUST. I guess it made me a much better person, analytically, for my business with new perspectives for every endeavour.

• All these were against the background of having one of the ‘roughest’, if there is a word like that, childhoods. Losing my mother at 4 and my father at Mfantsipim Form One (at 13) and virtually having to look after myself; standing behind windows to listen when other fathers were advising their children, so that I can live a worthy life and leave LEGACIES for my own children. Taking some hard decisions alone and making a lot of mistakes along the way. Thank God Almighty that you now have such an opportunity for group counseling as this forum, for not only listening to my experiences but making a sense out of them to enrich your own lives.

• Let me also admit to you that I AM A DREAMER, a strong believer in personal dreams and goals, plain and simple, and even as some of my dreams are tarrying at this my over 50+ years, I know they are for just a moment to bloom at their own time.

• For those of you, who most of the time think that the society or the world owes you and you are only waiting to collect what is your ‘rightful’ due without working for it, let me assure you that the society does not owe you or any one of us, and that we have to work hard to achieve our lives’ desires and goals, and rather give to this society.
• We have to manage our transition here on campus well to be able to achieve our personal ambitions, dreams and goals in life so that we impact the society for the better future of our own children, and our children’s children: for that is what life is all about. Definitely, not about us but the next generation.

• Sorry, if I sound like a preacher.

• Life, for me, is about service to mankind, leadership is about service to others for without others there is nobody to lead, whilst ‘self’ is about society for without the society there can be no YOU.

My Understanding Of The Topic

• By my understanding, therefore, of the topic: ‘Mastering Self Leadership’ is about how to develop one’s self, live a purposeful life during your transit here on campus, to acquire those skills, knowledge, counsel and requisite expertise necessary to drive all your ambitions and dreams after you graduate to be of service to your immediate family, workplace, community, society, the nation and the world.

• Most of the time, it is not even about the courses or the subjects we pursue here on campus but how we apply the wisdom of them all, and all the experiences we lived and shared here on campus with colleagues and lecturers that determine how successful we are able to live this life and how our successes are measured by others and the society.

• I will discuss my topic from the following points, as developed by Scott MacMillan in his book “The Big Game” (2003) by Llewellyn Publications:-

• Develop a Game Plan for your life;
• Define personal values;
• Define your direction or aim in life, your dreams and aspirations;
• Whether you are an independent, critical thinker: individualism and dealing with peer pressures;
• How self - disciplined you are, how you deal with loneliness;
• How you treat your past problems or dealing with weights of the past;
• Your relationship with others – family, friends and society;
• Your choices and accountability;
• Apprenticeship, a necessary pre-requisite for successful living;
• Your relationship with God and what we ask of Him;
• All your fears – of failure in life, of the unknown and of not realizing all your expectations; and finally
• Impacting your society or being of service, inspiring and motivating others, living a life that is a testimony for others to follow.

Develop Game Plan For Your Life

• Your life’s game plan provides you with a strong personal foundation, so that you are prepared for the complexities and challenges of life, and can experience a full life of one’s choosing for fulfilled dreams and aspirations.

• The game plan is not about opportunities or what your DNA offers you.

• It is only about developing the strategies that together create the foundation you need to make yourself stronger and ready for the game of life.

• At this moment of your life, you obviously need your own game plan on not only how to handle this transition on campus but also to prepare you for life after graduation. It can’t wait till you are in the final year.

Define Your Personal Values

• Values guide and shape the decisions we make throughout our lives.

• They include belief systems that are sometimes bequeath to us by our families and relationships, especially people we stay with for longer periods growing up like grandparents, parents, basic school teachers, mentors and great friends and enemies.

• We need to identify and define our values clearly, understand what they mean to us, and live according to them, and not according to family or peer pressures / values.

• Most times, they are etched in our subconscious and influence our daily choices unknowingly but they need to be nurtured and developed for successful living.

Define Your Direction Or Aim In Life

• Direction should be our main focus or purpose in life, especially at every transit point and most importantly, after this transition of life here on campus - graduation.

• Most of the time, this is where we have a lot of problems.

• First, we don’t know what we want from life by the time we leave the Senior High Schools (SHS). It’s always hazy ideas, no counseling to define it well for us before we enter the university and then we are given subjects and courses, we have no clue as to what to do with them after graduation. That shouldn’t be the end of the matter for us.

• Life always gives us what we don’t ask for or doesn’t give us what we ask for – how we then manage this paradox of life is one of the secrets of successful living.

• At this point, we will need programmes like today’s event and mentorship sessions to re-define a new direction, new dreams and new aspirations given the current circumstances, especially of the threats, challenges and opportunities of globalisation, to enable to succeed hereafter.

Independence Versus Peer Pressure

• This is one of the greatest challenges of this transition.

• An independent, critical thinker is a person who makes his or her own decisions and “thinks about his or her thinking.”

• Honestly, you should have the capacity at all times to question your thinking, accept when you’re wrong, and constantly ask ‘why’.

• You should always stand up to peer pressures or mob syndromes before you lose your individual identities. Why on earth would you all want to dress same way when such things are part and parcel of your personal identities? Otherwise, we would all have borne the same names on campus.

• Individual identities reflect our uniqueness of character and destinies and shouldn’t be compromised for any reason, especially not for peer pressures, please.

• Don’t smoke wee or sniff cocaine or indulge in those vices that blur your judgements only for the reason of peer pressures – that is the greatest disservice you can do to yourself at this transit point, where you are to mould and strengthen your character and self-values.

• The uniqueness of a person is in his or her FREEWILL and don’t ever give it up for anything. That’s why whoever our creator is He has never forced us into any way of life so why allow a mortal person like that to force you into what you, in your sober moments, question.

• Why would you for any reason rebel against parental controls only to allow yourself to fall victim to a worse form of control or ‘zombieism’ as peer pressure?

• A lot of people who couldn’t deal with all forms of peer pressures are the worse for them in adult lives now, full of regrets, including then very brilliant under-graduates and their lives are real lessons of life for us.

Self-Discipline

• Being disciplined means you can control your day-to-day habits and actions.

• A disciplined person is also able to work steadily towards goals and realization of dreams without getting sidetracked or blocked when faced with any adversity.

• One of the major keys for success therefore within this transition period is self-discipline, which helps to deal with peer pressures and what you all sometimes think is a problem and leads you into all kinds of temptations – loneliness.

• Self-discipline does not connote timidity or fear. It should be one of the pillars of your foundation of life.

• Permit me to dilate a bit more on loneliness here.

• Many people hate to be alone for any length of time.

• But know that the ability to be alone will prevent you from surrounding yourself with people who drain your energy, sometimes parasitic, and will increase your self-reliance and provide time for self-reflection, leading to enhanced personal awareness.

• Worse, dreamers will also want to be alone so they can appreciate the transition better, weigh their options well before the day of entry into the real world comes after graduation.

• Don’t forget that GREAT LEADERS & VISIONARIES are all lonely people, who in their extreme state of loneliness, prayers, meditation and communion with their creator, can better appreciate their roles and destinies in life and how to make their contemporary societies better and improve the standards of living of their people; or invent new things and come up with new ways of living to impact positively on or influence community, national and world history.

• Better still, four or three years is still a short time in the life of a person for you to waste it and then blame somebody else.

Dealing With Past Problems

• Thinking about problems of the past can drain valuable time and energy.

• The ability to leave events behind and move on is necessary in order to have the energy and time to focus on where you are today and where you want to go tomorrow.

• For those of you who read the Holy Bible, the closest analogy is in one of Apostle Paul’s writings when he uses the description of an athlete preparing for the race of life and he asks: will he wear all his or her dresses and in addition carry his or her suitcase?

• Such a person will not only be last of the pack but worse a laughing stock. Please, don’t carry the suitcase of past problems into his transition as it will distract you and contribute greatly to your failure.

• Why on earth will the Lord Jesus Christ ask the Father to forgive all those who wronged Him, betrayed Him, crucified Him, and joined in the chorus to call for His blood – for at that point of transition, He needed to deal with the past problems or burdens in the best way we should all learn to emulate – forgiveness; so we don’t carry that burden of hatred that will drain us of valuable time and energy, which could be best used to better our own selves and enrich our own lives.

• So let go of the past and press on towards the crown that is there for our taking at the next transit point of life.

Relationships

• This is also another area that we fault a lot – relationships – with our roommates, course mates, friends who couldn’t make it to the university, friends pursuing ‘supposedly’ better courses than us, our stepparents, our families who could have helped with one Ghana Cedi or two but didn’t, our biological parents who have deserted us long ago, the list could go on and on. But sincerely, who cares?

• Why wallow in self-pity when you can turn all these negative sides of your life around as it gives you the unique opportunity to promise yourself that you will end up a much better person than all those people you hold grudges against.

• I never hold a grudge, even though get angry sometimes, for grudges are a complete waste of time for all my dreams yet to be realised.

• Why hold a grudge against somebody who first doesn’t care about how you feel, isn’t even aware you bear a grudge against, who is incorrigible, who enjoys your discomfort of the grudge, who is happy at your expense because he or she has been able to achieve the aim of derailing you from your goals / destinies, when you could use the cost of the grudge to procure something else that could better your life: for all grudges have a cost – be it physical, emotional, or spiritual – with an opportunity cost or value of time: use that time for the grudge wisely to add multiple value to your life.


Choices & Accountability

• Life is constantly about making choices, some major and some minor.

• We need to be able to distinguish between fate and choice, accept the choices we make, and take responsibility for them.

• A successful future will be determined by the choices you make today, during this transition, and your life here on campus.

• You will be amazed how the little mistakes we make during this transition can go on to haunt us so much in future and close a lot of doors of opportunities. The next vetting of Ministers of State in Parliament should inform us strongly on this.

• I constantly tell my kids: any boy or girl, who one day when you have become a prominent public person and they come to tell you, he or she is looking for you and you will hide and say tell him or her am not there is not worth having sexual relationship with now. That is one choice with serious future consequences.

• That is how serious you should look at these matters during your life here during this transition.

Apprenticeship, A Necessary Pre-requisite For Successful Living

• One major dress rehearsal of life that now we don’t place too much premium on as a nation is APPRENTICESHIP – service at the feet of a master.

• I will urge you to read the story of Prophets Elijah and Elisha to better appreciate the principles of apprenticeship.

• Read 2 Kings 3:11-12

• “But Jehoshaphat asked, “Is there no prophet of the Lord here, that we may inquire of the Lord through him?”
An officer of the king of Israel answered, “Elisha son of Shaphat is here. He used to pour water on the hands of Elijah. Jehoshaphat said, “The word of the Lord is with him.” That was the qualification of Elisha, he used to pour water on the hands of Elijah and not that he was a prophet but he served his master, Elijah to the very end without question and he become greater than his master as a prophet.

• The Holy Bible is rife with such tales of apprenticeship with great rewards, just as there are tales and lessons of those who didn’t serve well, betrayed their masters and didn’t end well.

• Our Lord Jesus Christ @ 12 sat at the feet of the masters, listened and asked questions to enrich his knowledge in what He was to become in future, the Lord of Lords. At that point He didn’t say that He was the Christ so everybody else should listen to Him rather but that He sat there quietly, listened and asked questions – such supreme humility and mark of greatness, definitely a lesson for most of us.

• Let’s go back to the era of apprenticeship, people who served faithfully to the end without question and complaining, receiving double portion of favours and blessings for service well-served; and we will be much better for it.

Your Relationship With God And What We Ask Of Him

• Growing up, one of the sacred things that kept me sane has been Christianity, grounding me in the things of the spirit, my relationship with my fellow man, achieving my dreams and all, learning about humility – another major key for success, and coming this far has been my relationship with the Almighty God and accepting Jesus Christ as a Personal Saviour and Lord of my life.

• For what is worth, trying hard not to sound religious, please I will entreat each and every one of you to seriously consider same route because the next four years won’t be easy, with lots of challenges and temptations and you will obviously need His Counsel all the time.

• I owe everything to Him and for those who heard bits and pieces of what happened during CAN 2008 that was my secret. And for the past 30 years or more, I have shared testimonies with people close, who most times wonder where do you get all these ideas from: my Teacher Jesus Christ.

All Your Fears – Of Failure In Life, Of The Unknown And Of Not Realizing All Your Expectations

• You don’t let fear of failure or anything stop you from realizing your dreams or achieving your goals.

• The fear of failure or embarrassment can prevent us from attempting new challenges, resulting in missed opportunities.

• The key is to accept that, at times, you will be afraid or embarrassed, but do not let this fear rule your life and stop you from fully experiencing life.

• Pray this prayer every second, if you can afford the time:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can: and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time: enjoying one moment at a time: Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace: Taking as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it: Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will: That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen.

Impacting Your Society Or Being Of Service, Inspiring And Motivating Others, Living A Life That Is A Testimony For Others To Follow

• I have learnt that the greatest attribute of a person after his or her death is how much he impacted the society. That is part of the principle of the tree that wasn’t bearing fruits and it was cursed and withered to die.

• We can’t pass through this transition or the bigger life without impacting positively and adding to the rich heritage of the nation.

• Definitely don’t die and be forgotten.

• Make sure passing through this university you also write your own ‘Footprints In The Sands Of Life’ and then you would have lived a successful life.

• Legacies tell a person’s life history better so no matter the transit platform work on your own legacies for the benefit of the greater good.

Conclusion

• Finally, let me say that am indeed grateful for the opportunity to be part of this event. I am sorry I couldn’t be like Osofo Dadzie of ‘Obra’ fame to have given you a very short sermon so that we can go back to our halls faster.

• I pray that I have succeeded in doing justice to the topic for I believe if you live your life as I have attempted to outline, then you would have mastered self leadership.

• I also pray you have enjoyed yourself and can make some sense out of all that I said. I will stay around for your questions, even though I wish nobody will ask any.

• Thank you once again.